same feathers

i just find it amusing that there have been quite a number of g4m that i personally know. some from my school in college, some even from my high school, some from my work, some i had acquaintances with. i had suspicions but really i never knew that we are of the same feather until i saw their profiles in g4m.

one in particular is my crush, haha, in highschool. man, that kid was hot, now he's even more, and he is out in g4m. he is still not out in our local community. he was not out with me. how can i tell him that i know? asking him about it will be the same as saying that i saw his profile in g4m ( for those whose still processing, means im also in g4m, means i'm of the same feather. i''m just trying to make sure that i deliver the point clear, hahaha). as you should know by now, í'm still keeping it discreet.

so, i really look up to those people who found the courage to be out. man, you know our world. there are many benefits of being out. one of the biggest is that you don't have to lie/pretend anymore. freedom. another is that, it will be easier to get hookups (hahaha). you get to show your pics if you are goodlooking or if you're not ( the type of the other person) then atleast you cut the wastage. friends can also help you find matches, since they already know. you can share with them your adventures, funny and stupid things. but for me, these advantages is still outweighted by the risks and redicule of being out.

but, honestly, i haven't given much thought on being out. and i'm really not afraid of what people will say. i dont care whatever people say, well most of the time. i also am not an advocate against gender and other forms of discrimination. only the stupid and uncreative and insecure resort to discrimination.

i think, more than anything else, i'm liking the adventure of being underground. i like the thought of not being in the mainstream. i like to be in a challenging field. otherwise, i will stop learning and growing, life will be boring. i don't fit under the "ácceptable" hetero thing. i'm gay but not homo. i have had it with both sexes. i'm bi but i'm discreet. i'm discreet but i'm not outrageous at night. hahaha.

i also generally dont go with labels. it's not fun to be defined. being labelled is being stagnant, being boxed. i'm continuously changing and ever evolving. tomorrow i'm a totally different person.

ah, this blog is going nowhere. hahha. i'll go to sleep now.