love of siam

i don't want to be an emo. but please excuse me this time.

finally, a closure. it's been a week since it happened. after a long time of no communication, i chanced with my "boyfriend" in ym. we spent hours of talking about just anything. suddenly, he said he misses his country so much. taking it as a cue, i asked him if he missed me. he didn't say yes nor no. all he said was, "let's forget about it." "Forget about the past," he said.

forget about our past. forget about what happened to us. forget about what we shared. it was a very fitting end to our hours long conversation. a conversation of nothing. an exchange of words just to avoid the thing that we ought to be talking. about us. about our relationship.

it didn't come without warning. it didn't come unexpectedly, but still it hurt.

he said it many times. he loves me. but he loves me no more than a brother, a very especial friend. he loves me but it was all that he could give.

he asked me to find my true love, my true happiness, a girl. he asked me to move on. but he never talked of what, move on from what?

now, he has spoken. he has acknowledged of a past. he had talked of the word we never spoke of. in a sweeping manner, he talked of my universe. he talked of the whole world that i've been living. in a very sweeping manner, he called it a past.

surely, my emotion last week was more than enough to move me into a deep thought. to reflect. to ponder. to try to understand. it was more than enough, in fact too much that i got lost in the train of thought. it was too much that i didn't know what i was feeling.

then, there came "love of siam" giving me a mirror of what has happened. it brought my thoughts back. it gave me understanding. finally, it gave me closure.

"i can't be with you as your boyfriend. but, it doesn't mean that i don't love you." love of siam ended with these lines. what followed after where just tears. i cried with mew.

receive and give

i went to the spa again. i wanted to relax. but really, i was hoping to see vince again. he was not there though. so, i thought i ought really to relax. work has been stressful recently. i've been really stressed even minus the school load (was still sem break).

so relaxed, i did. nobody was really interesting at the spa that time. dry sauna, sweat hard. swimming pool, sense killing coldness. warm jacuzzi, relaxingly makes me sleepy. if you really heighten your senses, you will get lost. you will be transported to a world of nothingness, a world of bliss. i wasn't conscious about my environment. i allowed my sense to carry me to a totally different world.

but not long after, this part is what you really wanna know, some guy was sharing the pool with me. he was gazing i know but i did not look back. i was pretending not to notice. after a while he was walking towards me. i just sat, ignoring him still. but he was walking towards me and the shallow pool soon revealed his pride, erect and angry. instantly, mine caught the fever. there was no more pretending, i had an erection and he was looking at it.

still, i tried to avoid him. he was a bit on the heavy side, i am more predispose to lean athletic guys. but he was not bad either, he was in fact good looking. i swam towards another direction but only to be followed and caught in a corner. so close by, he slid his hand and played with my erection. his other hand held mine and led it to his. i obliged. it was hard and full. mutual masturbation. he asked me to sit on him. i declined. he told me to suck him just once. i declined. i let go of his hard on and walked towards the shallow part of the pool. it was just a cool play.

no one else was at the pool area that time, privacy was not an issue. i would do the things he asked me, but i would do it with someone i love. make it less complicated, with someone i like and lust. lust may have driven me into that mutual favor but it did not drive me to the edge.

i went back to the dry sauna, to dry up and be alone again. but as just i was starting to sweat. the guy from the pool came in. he inched close to me, slid his hand under my towel, worked on and gave me an erection. he had the hots on me ( or maybe he was just horny). closer, i could feel his warm hard on brushing my legs as he moved. it felt good that i was feeling his hard while he has stroking mine. he went down on me. i lost control, the moisture and softness of his mouth was irresistible and heavenly inside the dry sauna. he was so gentle, he would nibble on my hard's head and roll his tongue. in routinely pleasurable manner he would suck me whole. in pleasure, i found myself caressing his hair, his ear, his cheek and his unshaven chin. i played with his ear as he leisurely sucked me.

the best part of it was the excitement when, i had to bid him to stop as i heard somebody approaching. he would stop and check if anyone was nearby. pure pleasure is sometimes best enjoyed in installments. sure the the area was clear, he would continue giving me the head while i play with his ear and my leg is brushing his hard. we were almost acting like lovers.

in the middle of this i heard somebody coming. just in time we composed ourselves, distanced ourselves. while people were there, i would go out and get a drink.

when we were on it again. some guy caught us. he signaled that it was okay and to continue what we were on. he was to keep guard. i did not like the idea of someone standing guard and watching me get sucked at the same time, it was just too kind a gesture, there's a catch. but that time, i wasn't ruled by reasoning. i was helluvahhell enjoying as he pleasured me, sliding his hand all over my body, kissing and sucking my nip occasionally. as he would pause, he would look at me and tell me how good i was, it fed my ego and at the same time sustained my lust. he was manly as he would say "ang sarap mo pare"; "akin ka na lang" in direct and unpretentious way. i just answered back with a smile and he got back on what he was doing, driving me to high heavens.

i was so full and ready to cum. but i didn't know if it was okay to cum in his mouth. i begged away and got myself another glass of water. plunged at the cold pool and effectively killed the hot blood in my system.

when i went back to the dry sauna, he was gone. i was still expecting him there to finish it off. he said he wanted to see me cum. but he already left. i haven't had the cum yet but i was okay. then came the man who gave us the favor of being our look out. he was in his forties, not at all good looking and he was edging me. i wanted to tell him, i owed him no favor, to go after the guy who went down on me and ask him to return the favor. but he was on me. i just scratched my head, i thought it coming. this is the catch: he was looking after us, so he could get on me next. dammit. i'm not a whore. but oh well, he seemed to be a nice guy. so down, he went on me. it felt different. you could know he was more experienced in sucking. after a time i begged off. went to the shower to wash off the saliva in my penis. liquid soap. plenty of it.

Finally, i was in my final leg of use of the wet room. soon i will be having my massage. i went to the jacuzzi. alone again, i let my senses take me to another world. i was already sleepy, i have been inside the wet room for more than an hour. most of my batch of goers were already having their massage. i stayed, it was not yet late, i was not i a hurry too, and i was still hoping to see vince.

apparently, it was not vince's day to go to the spa. i was resolved. no vince. so i closed my eyes and felt the bubbling and splashing of water in my back. i was lost again and my sense of touch was my whole world. suddenly, the spash of water changed as someone joined me in the jacuzzi. i opened my eyes to a guy sitting at the edge. he has carefully placing his towel to cover his groin, not wanting to expose a sensual skin, as he sat and dipped his feet on the warm jacuzzi. as i had already my fantastic time earlier, i did not bother, though i thought he was goodlooking. he was very manly and snobbish that i completely decided to ignore him.

went swimming again. when i got to the dry sauna, tha man at the jacuzzi was there alone. we were seated at far ends. nothing. i didn't even see him secretly look my way. i just closed my eyes. ignored him completely again. i had already a great time and was just waiting for my massage. then he went out. i followed him with my eyes. he walked towards the cold pool and he carefully hung his towel, i could just see his back and butt. nothing really striking, not even flawless. nothing enticing an erection. we were just to people who happened to share the same jacuzzi and the same dry sauna room. nothing else. no coincedence.

but it was totally a different picture when he has getting out of the cold pool. he was facing me and i was amazed by the curved of his very hard penis. it had a small head but the stem was bulged and perfectly curved, a perfect grip like a handle of a beer mug except that the handle was mighty huge.

he went back in the dry sauna room, conscious that i was on him while he got out of the cold pool. he was less conservative know, he would flash his curved erection, he would stare straight to my eyes, he would stroke his manhood infront of me. he was a definite tease! holysonofabitch! what did i do today, what did i do to be entice such a beautiful curve erection; how did i carry myself to have caused it? i already had a wonderful time earlier and i was just waiting for my massage.

i was getting crazy. he was definitely a killer goodlooking and was so snobbish at first, he had a wonderful built, manly bust, flat tummy, and a goddam curved erection. somebody save me. i'm saving myself for someone! my lips and tongue are sacred. i only service my man. oh man! and his staring again.

out i went and dived into the very cold pool, tried to forget. i was shivering. really cold. lustful thought got drowned in cold. haha, i succeeded. but why, oh why, do i have an erection! i already had a fantastic time and was just waiting for my massage. dammit, where is that man. bring him to me right now, i thought.

and the man was still there, in the same place inside the dry sauna. still as hard. after so many second thoughts, i sat beside him. asked if i could help him out. i slid my hand and got the grip.

oh, this story has gone so long. it was really a long spa day and i haven't event got my massage. but i must tell you he was sweet. sticky and sweet as honey. i'll think of telling you the rest, maybe next time.